Doubting The Truth Is Only Wasting Your Time, The Lord ALWAYS Provides
I am a Class A worrier. When I was in high school, I had a panic attack when I thought I bombed my first AP Euro exam. My freshman year of college held the same anxious tendencies. Each assignment held fear, because what would happen if it wasn't enough?
Freshman year also included financial pressures, understanding that money is something you need. If it's constantly tight, constant worry should follow, right?
After my second year of college, I got an internship in New York City. I was thrilled, so grateful that the Lord had placed this opportunity in my life.
Then I looked at the price of rent in New York and seriously doubted if I'd be able to physically afford to live in the city with an intern's minimum wage.
All of these worries, from an AP Euro exam to keeping a roof over my head in Brooklyn, were so relative at the time. Yet looking back, I can't help but smile, finding them to be silly -- ridiculous even.
The Lord always provides.
From the classroom to New York City, the Lord has never left me high and dry or put me in a situation that He did not 110% intend for me to go through.
Psalm 81:10 says: "I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it."
Scripture showcases story after story of the Lord taking care of people, taking them where they need to be -- physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. This has only grown more apparent to me as I've graduated college and explored what it means to fully be independent, making a life for myself.
Questions concerning bills, safety, or just emotional support as I live a bazillion miles away from everyone I know and love (OK, 2,947 miles, but you get the gist). He has provided in ALL things.
Whenever I find myself letting doubt creep back in, I think of the previous times I've worried.
There is not one single time I can name where He has not clearly provided everything I needed.
Philippians 4:19 says: "And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."
That is not to say that life has been easy and breezy. Some situations have been downright uncomfortable. But He has never failed to provide. He has kept me safe. He has kept a roof over my head. He has shown a plan that is far greater than the one I had deemed brilliant in my own mind.
Doubting this truth has only wasted time. It won't get you anywhere. Sure, you've probably heard "The Lord always provides" from a mom or a grandparent or a mentor or an ~inspirational~ Pinterest board, but this is just one of those things you have to come to on your own. By no means am I "done" learning this truth.
I read a lot about the "mountain peaks" and "valleys" of life from devotionals or Christian bloggers. While I understand and appreciate that little nature analogy, no one really talks about the path from one to another. Yes, there are seasons of life that could be classified as valleys, while others are glorious mountain tops. But you need to walk the trail that takes you from one to another. You need protection, and hey, you need snacks if you're going to make it all that way! That trail can be scary, no matter which direction you're going in. It's a lot less scary if you know you're going to be OK once you reach your destination.
Now, your idea of OK and God's idea of OK may not exactly match up.
My idea of OK may mean a fabulous studio apartment that I don't have to share with anyone.
God's idea of OK means a room in a four-bedroom apartment that is a magnet for mice.
But God's idea of OK isn't just OK, it's planned perfection.
Even if everything else fell apart -- even if these simple things like a roof over my head or money in the bank or a pantry with my hoard of snacks went away -- The Lord's grace will still be alive and well.
I know it's so much easier said than done. But know that you are in the grasp of the Creator of the world. You have a story that is written by the Author of grace. You are cherished and valued and called. You are taken care of.